Paulita Pappel: How I Learned to Love Porn.
Paulita Pappel, a literature student from Madrid, now living in Berlin, just posted an entry about her first encounters with pornography at the blog of the alternate sex project Ersties.
Her first experiences, at the age of 11 or 12, are not with mobiles and computers, the porn movies are running on pay TV and are collectively watched by the boys of her clique.
I walked in the room with the boys, and I sat down first row and watched the screen. I do not remember what was going on in the film, I guess some muscular man was penetrating some women with big breasts. I do remember that I did not know how to relate to it, nor to the boys in the room, and that the situation was taking more of my attention than the images on TV.
Her fascination for porn is foremost triggered by the empowering feeling of entering and appropriating a male dominated territory. The images itself don’t play a dominant role in the beginning.
I had somehow entered forbidden territory, and that turned me on.
The more she gets in touch with feminist and queer films, the more she gets into it and integrates watching porn as a part of her very own sexuality. A process over time that leads her into a truly enjoyable relation with porn.
I have gone through the process of learning to feel it before asking myself: do I like it? And that has been the way to learn to enjoy it. It is always liberating to be able to answer that question honestly. It is great.
Read the full entry here: Paulita Pappel: How I Learned to Love Porn.
Paulita Pappel, the brightest smiling rascal at the Ersties family, is a regular at Ersties, an all-female project from Berlin, behind and in front of the camera. The fiery girl, who describes herself as polyamorous, is also a curator for the pornfilm festival and works as a director with Erika Lust.
Featured image is a snadgy selfie by Paulita, picked from her twitter.